As the vehicle started moving, I often catch other passengers glancing at him too. It is not really that unusual to be with an old person in a public vehicle. But there is something different about this guy. It's like he is trying to live his life. Old as he is, he's trying to make the most out of it. And unlike other people his age you pass by on the street, he is alone. No one's there to help him get up the jeep or help him walk in the street or carry the things he bought.
The sight of his face, his aged skin, the evidence of the decades that he has been through made me think of two major things: financial stability and companionship.
I really dread the time when I get old. I don't know what will happen to me. I don't know if I'll be able to get rich. I can't imagine myself having to ride jam-packed vehicles just because it's the only thing I can afford. I don't want to live in a shabby apartment because I want to, at least, live the rest of my days somewhere beautiful. I want to be able to eat at restaurants I like. Go to places where I want to vacation. I don't want to die poor.
But money is just one thing I'm worrying about. The other big one is of course -- living alone.
Since I'm gay, I can't very well much expect to have a family of my own. Children who will take care of me. A husband/wife whom I will spend my remaining days with. Grandchildren whom I will pamper and shower with love.
So yeah. I'm scared to grow old. For good reasons. And looking at that old man, made me pray to God that if ever I'll leave alone or suffer a terrible disease when I grow old, I just hope that God will be more compassionate.
Life is precious. But I'm scared of poverty and loneliness. Maybe in time my opinions will change. Or maybe it won't. But one thing's for sure, the sight of the old man got me thinking.
